Agents of Snooze

The first time I attempted to watch the premier episode of Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD I fell asleep 15 minutes in. In all fairness it was early on a Saturday morning and my ears were still buzzing from a metal hangover (go check out Facing the Gallows if you’re a hard rock fan – you’ll like). So there is that. But the second time, a day later, I struggled even more so, despite getting through Episode 1 and 2.

Before the Marvel mega fans get nasty, I consider myself one of your kin. I love what Marvel did with the X-men franchise and how they translated the Avengers franchise to the big screen. It was smart and they produced incredible movies…. But Agents of SHIELD? Overkill.


Agent Phil Coulson is resurrected to star in the television series created by Maurissa Tancharoen, Jed Whedon and Joss Whedon of Buffy fame. Coulson’s name sound familiar? He was the guy they killed off in The Avengers – the one with the big gun and the vintage playing cards. Of course, in an unoriginal “return from the dead” explanation, Agent Coulson actually didn’t die on that flying ship when they “called it”. He simply stopped breathing for 40 seconds, was resuscitated and then hidden away while New York was under Alien attack… all so as to bring the feuding super folk together. The Avengers don’t know this though because they don’t have level 7 clearance.

I’m guessing they’ll attempt to pull a rabbit out the hat and announce Coulson is a Life Model Decoy towards the end of Season 1, they already began to hint in episode 1 and 2 that all is not as it seems (rather poorly though).

Ironically, in episode 2 SHIELD give this “level 7 clearance” I referred to earlier, to a girl who lives in a van and plays on the internet. So basically me, without the van.  However, the ‘not of this world’ God can’t be trusted with this clearance, which is funny considering he has Heimdall (the all-seeing and all-knowing Asgardian warrior-god if you weren’t sure).

Mind blown.
Mind blown.

I’m probably annoying you with my nit-picking.

Here’s the thing, The Avengers movie franchise offered up sharp and quick dialogue. It was humourous & witty. Agents of SHIELD is somewhat cheesy and I found the storyline to be tried and tested which made it predictable. It also made me want to fall asleep. For me, Coulson was always the suit and tie. He was well trained and married to his job, somewhat geeky and annoying but still good at what he did. Now he is cheesy and over nerded (I made that word up). The writers attempt to make him mysterious and, to be honest, I wish they hadn’t.

I’m not hating just for the fun of it. I was excited about this show and I even blogged about it. I wasn’t the only one: In the US the show bragged the biggest network drama debut in four years… but those ratings are beginning to decline as the season continues. Much like me, I think other fans wanted this show to be spectacular, we had high hopes… I don’t think it will meet them. It’s cheesy and stereotypical. They have all these comics that they can pull from and yet they’re feeding us the same story lines we saw on Heroes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville and any other “family friendly” borderline sci-fi/fantasy type show I can think of (could be because the creators were all, at some point, involved in those shows). The only two things I found rather exciting? The occasional references to The Avengers themselves and Cobie Smulders appearance in episode 1 (she’s a babe).


Agents of SHIELD is distinctly average. It is a cash cow.

I do understand that TV shows are made to make as much money as possible, not chiefly for our enjoyment; I just wish they hadn’t prostituted one of my favourites.

About Guest Reviewer

Before a reviewer is added to the ranks of GES, they are put through their paces and based on their performance, style and execution, they receive their official GES reviewer badge. This review was done by one of these candidates.

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